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The Gift of Yourself

Personal Dev

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Marriage Advice

http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-16-years-of-marriage/

“Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.”

— and vice versa.

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On another note, I saw this excellent post about a 12-week marriage seminar—for free!

http://seekersguidance.org/courses/GEN180

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The Best Compliment

I honestly think the best compliment a person can give you is that they remind you of the Prophet (ﷺ).

Whenever I try to choose a friend—or even ponder about the people whom I believe are important to me—I try to compare them to the Prophet (ﷺ). The best example.

It could be whether they are kind like the Prophet (ﷺ) in terms of how they treat or talk about any kind of person around them—or patient with how they deal with those who are unkind to them. It could be something even simpler, to the way noor exudes on their face from constantly smiling—or even kindly picking up the spider that’s making everyone else run to the other side of the room saying “kill it, kill it!” Even the friend who eats all their food, regardless of how bad it tastes, in fear that the one morsel thrown out might complain of them on the Last Day.

It could be in the way they refuse to lie because they fear Allah, or the way they love the Quraan so openly and genuinely that their presence alone makes you want to love the Quraan even more (ﷺ).

It could be in the way they genuinely love people and genuinely love helping them—expecting next to nothing in return. It could be anything good, really. It’s just a matter of paying enough attention to people to see the characteristics they share with the Prophet (ﷺ).

There are so many wonderful qualities he embodied (ﷺ). His sitting, eating, breathing, living was for Islam. And I can’t help but question if my life is overly consumed with the wrong things. But like the Prophet (ﷺ) I should always strive to seek betterment in a situation. There is always good—people just forget to look for it. They look at the closed door so often that it becomes a habit.

Last weekend, when I escaped into the wilderness, I learnt about the Prophet (ﷺ)—since it was the theme of the spiritual retreat. I learnt briefly about the history at the time of his life and afterwards, and his mannerisms, the way he lived and the way he loved Allah. It opened up my eyes to a lot that I never truly saw before. It made me want to learn more about the Prophet (ﷺ). And properly. I mean think about it for a second, how much do we actually know about the man who dedicated his prophetic life to us? The same man who thought of us in his final moments—selflessly wondering about the fate of the upcoming generations. Do we worry about what he worried about? …Sigh.

And hence, my favourite compliment of all would be:
“I see the Prophet (ﷺ) in you.”

May Allah make our hearts soft, genuine, pure and kind—free of hypocrisy. May He make our character like the Prophet’s (ﷺ) and may we all love the Prophet like he loved us… Aameen.